In the last day or so, I’ve realized how bad my memory has become in the last year or so. Re-watching movies like Mad Max Fury Road, Batman vs Superman Dawn of Justice, and others, I found that I just didn’t remember half the movie. Typically the second half. This morning during a particularly intense conversation I found myself running out of energy quickly, to the point I needed to end the conversation and lie down. I’m finding that especially now in the more advanced stages of ME/CFS, intense action and conversation require more energy to follow and anything requiring me to randomly access memories over a time span rather than one chunk from a particular time, will wear me out much quicker.
This stuff is really scary since I used to rely on my memory so much for my job. Being an information worker, it was important for me to know a lot about a vast range of topics. This helped me to troubleshoot and solve problems quickly. Being able to remember things also served as my measure of the truth of the world. but if my memory is faulty, then I need other methods of measuring truth. It’s a scary thing.